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It does not pay to be nice. Speak your mind

It riles me when we put down our youngsters and tell them to conform, to stay silent and to get along. Be nice, we say. As if that was the reason for which they were born. This is especially true when we speak to our daughters.

How does that old rhyme go? What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. And boys? Well, they’re made of Slugs and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails ― isn’t that so convenient?

In India, this is so well-entrenched that the role models held up to our girls are Sita and Sati. Remember what happened to them? One was swallowed by the earth and the other was burnt alive. Maybe our girls should look up to Jhansi Rani or Joan of Arc instead. At least then they will be better equipped when they step out into the world and confront the creepy crawlies, the bullies and the Lotharios on the roadside and at the workplace. Equip them with education, arm them with self-defence techniques and a pepper spray. Teach them to protest harassment or abuse.

Take a look at Prentice Mathew’s thoughtful 31 rules for a young critical mind. “Make enemies,” he says, telling us to stand up for what we believe in. Only then will we receive the right to live our life. Don’t whine about the cards life has dealt you, but shape it the way you want.

All the how-to books on relationships say that we should talk about our feelings; we should say I feel bad you said this. Why should we be so defensive when we need to call someone out when they do something stupid or wound you badly? Speak up, be heard. It’s good for your soul and your blood pressure.

“The day is short and the grave will provide plenty of time for silence.” WOW!

Share your opinion and experiences on speaking up for what you believe in.

And take a peek into my short story My little spitfire here

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